Perfect? I Wish.....

Ayat-Ayat Cinta : Rossa

Desir pasir di padang tandus

Segersang pemikiran hati

Terkisah ku di antara cinta yang rumit

Bila keyakinan ku datang

Kasih bukan sekadar cinta

Pengorbanan cinta yang agung

Ku pertaruhkan

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna

Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah

Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita

Cinta ku pada mu

Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh

Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama

Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta

Ketika ku bersujud

We’ve been married for seven years now. There have been countless ups and downs that we have braved through. As some friends had said, we were the perfect couple.

However, lately, things had not been too good. Everything was arguable and there’d been times when our voices could compete with the lightning and thunder high up in the sky. Frankly, this year was the most challenging so far in the seven years we’ve been together. And this year has seen many drastic changes in the life cycle of our marriage.

Life has been so much different. Promises made were broken easily and there’s no more time to spare with each other what more with the children. Argument and silent treatment always occur and it looked like nothing seemed right anymore. I didn’t know if it was me or him or both? But lately, we didn’t see each other that much even though we’re still staying in the same house. We seldom talked or smiled to one another or even exchanged a few words. Lately, he always came back at the wee hours of the morning and by then, I must have fallen asleep. As for me, I usually rushed home on the dot after office to pick up my children from the babysitter and tend to their needs at home. When I woke up in the morning and getting ready for work, he’s still sleeping. The weekends which used to be spent with the family were not there anymore as he’s always got things to do outside and I was left all alone with the kids at home all the time during weekends nowadays. If it happened only once in a while, I could just let it pass by but if it happened so many times now, I guess I’d have to let it out in the open....

With my own busy schedule at work, I realised that I had to do something in order to take really good care of my little ones. I didn’t want them to be left unattended to and in my mind, if my other half couldn’t do it, I’d have to do it then...Therefore, I’ve made a really big decision that is to resign from my career. My career is great, nothing could beat that but I just had to make this sacrifice for the sake of the family. All these while, it was me who took care of everything for the family from a-z, so, it shouldn’t be a problem now to take care of everything on my small shoulder. Hubby seemed happy with what he was doing at the moment and I wouldn’t interfere with whatever he had committed himself into. Let it just be me alone absorbing it all be it good or bad....I’d do anything to make my children happy although I might not be happy inside...

Yes, I’ve had a good career and I have a family....and I’m going to sacrifice my career for the sake of my family. I can’t be sacrificing my family for my career...that’s extremely out of the question.

And I’m really sorry if I’m not perfect enough and not up to expectation but I know that I’ve done my best....